Till Next year

Dare all out there. For the rest of the year I will not be putting out any poems or raps. I’m currently working on a short story that will be compiled from poems on here and other ones I have written. 

I am also in the process of trying to get publish. WISH ME LUCK!!!!

I’ll be posing entirely regularly every week beginning January 7th, 2014. I am truly sorry for not being so regular as I want to. But I am very happy for the support that has been given up until now. So thank you to everyone that reads my work. I hope to have great work soon.

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The Party Before

The problem with driving
was surviving the return
while in a daze,
constantly amazed at life,
even though
you’re walking a tight rope
millions of miles from Earth.
But we weren’t close
and I found walking difficult. 
Planning while sober
to not get pulled over
living in the moment
existing in laughter at jokes
and sleeping in green pastures
that were all all in your head.
That’s how these nights tend to go
My friends are welcoming enough
in that
they don’t mind my guest
though half the time
with her hiding behind me
I wonder if they know she exists.
I coast from person to person
conversing with the few people there
and yeah…I would like to skip
to the fun part
but I can’t seem desperate.
She drifts
a leash keeping her.
As they are starting
her and I 
sit in a circle.
My friend passes a cigarette.
I take a drag
while she quickly passes.
The can of soda
that she nervously hold
may do the job though.
Her eyes open to show
pupils dilated
and my friends know,
as one laughs,
and she falls on her back
as though pushed.
i glance at her
with a grin
then place the tab on my tongue. 

Backseat Ride

After our argument,
asleep in the back seat.
Thumb in your mouth,
as if on your mother’s teat.
In my rear view.
Our words and your.
I swear I’d never help.
Yet I always do.
I want to be else where.
Yet here I again sit.
Life is too fleeting
to continue with this shit.
I am too tired
to drive too far
so we have stopped,
stranded where we are.
If I try to explain
that somehow we can’t grow
the pain in my stomach
would let me know,
you’re my responsibility
as I am yours.
No matter how we fall
we’ve become each other’s floors.
Turn signal resounding
as if announcing
that this would all turn around.
With sobs
or a coo
I’m being introduced
to a new you.
Please stay asleep.
My eyes straight ahead
despite the high beams
on the back of my head.
I fear how much trust
you have invested.
Though it was terrifying.
I confessed it.
I have a persona
of almost indifference.
Despite the fights
we have a resilience.
It’s a sorrowful thing
to cling to this sort
of strange relationship
with all the scars
from battles fought.

Your Transparency

Your transparency leads me 
to believe that you’re 
as shallow as the Reed Sea
that Moses crossed
though you’d say
you too are lost in translation.
It was your trend 
to pretend to be someone,
then be a mannequin,
letting others dress you.
When that failed
being a bohemian
fit into your plan.
You took a crack at
following Jack Kerouac
yet that included too many people as well.
And though the term fit you,
you’d never admit to 
being a hipster
because it’d put you in a group.
You read Camus
could recite Satre too. 
Live by 
what Durden would do.
You believed essence
proceeds existence.
So you introduce yourself with pretense.
This has become you.
You call it culture
though I’m not too sure;
when you show such demur
in finding something
to be a part of. 

Who Am I

Let me taste syrupy sweet lies
that attracted those other flies.
This is my gift to you in July.
A personality more suited to a Gemini.
But you’re a cancer
in that you’re all over.
Were you honestly lying
when you said you’re bipolar?
You’re too kind
though only at times
when you call me beautiful
to play with my mind.
Then kiss me coldly
only to soothe me.
I know your cloudy transparency.
How clear you are to me. 
You’re hoping to find romance, 
dreaming for fantasy,
working for perfection,
but we’re too human in reality.
I saw how you became dark
to hide that away.
How you want to find true love…
perhaps one day.
And that need to be loved
has defined who you are.

December 17th, 2011

That night
with a gray sky making silhouettes
I saw two beautiful creatures
with flames on their skin
snow at their tips
that chased after the essence of life
and devoured it.
You and I feared their way.
So we bravely sneak pass.
Leaving a flowing night
when we entered from the shadows at last.
You laid your flesh.
I slowly left
though you bid me return.
Feast on what I yearn.
And for a moment learn
what it means to chase life.
Time disappeared into a hole in my heart.
While happy
I feared we’d part.
The sun soon began dawning.
Your tired eyes yawning
asked for me
to go with the morning.
So away I went
my time was then spent
thinking to myself
of the creatures outside
that chased after life.