A Stranger’s Love (A Shadow’s Lucid Dreams)

Watching my wrists hold an abyss
as I dress in darkness
with atoms rearranged from our chemistry
to become a new me.
Thoughts from drinking.
Yet I make do.
The one thing
always dancing in my cerebellum…
is you. 
So…
I’m not too overcome
by rum to remember good times
and then some…
Tie tied tight, embracing the night
like I might
do something right
if no one’s watching. 
Dressed to compress my insides,
like a shadow 
I’m close. 
Like a shadow
with enough light,
I’m more of a boast. 
I only exist with others.
And we’ve been dreaming awake. 
Paralyzed,
cause my eyes have seen
what we could mean
in refusing to be roused.
Though in the back drop
of us dreaming
I fell asleep again.
I want to believe 
that somehow we can be.
I grab my suit
to dress for the judging society
in which we’re living.
Then I go
to live impossible dreams. 

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My Reason for Boston

I enter his room
Abruptly beginning,
“I thought about love and dreams, 
everything in between,
And if you had been with me,
You would know what I mean.
When I left here
I kept noticing
how pavement and rubber
is so deafening.
Roaring in my ear
whispering thing I refused to hear.
Everything won’t be okay
if we keep holding on.
Only if we move along
We’re sure things are fine.
That’s our minds’ eternal sunshine
ignoring the dark night,
the shadows slinking.
I’ve been running so much
my dreams couldn’t find me.
I’m losing control
my soul is only
love, drugs, and monotony. 
I don’t know who I am
but I never thought
this would be me. 
I don’t know
where I am now
but I refuse to continue
to be held down.”
I ended
waiting for what he’d say.
Nothing.
Then,
“Okay.” 

Settling

How will I sleep
if I keep
images of you
in my head?
I took a walk
to talk to myself
hoping you’d slip my mind
long enough to find peace.
Yet something triggers memories
till endlessly I’m thinking.
Velvet skies.
So impossible.
Vermillion plateaus.
Unreachable.
Verdant mountains.
Unconquerable.
My ears burn
while scarlet streams roar
as I remember whore
that can’t compare anymore
to your liberty.
You are
the hill of Aripo.
Refusing to be climbed. 
The untameable wild.
The unteachable golden child. 
Why must you be conquered? 
So I shall find,
by leaving behind
clumsy desires creeping through my mind,
beauties I can grasp.