Sans

It’s not me grieving over this.
Just over the lost of innocence.
Trying to find resilience.
Making sense of this
and all the moral problems we present.
I could sell flame to the devil
in the way I sold my soul.
A silver tongue demon
but you have a tongue of gold
to keep your friends believing
all your lies.
So pleasant to the eyes
hiding under a disguise.
They can’t see below the surface.
For you that’s perfect….
Is honesty really worth it?
I do good things with malicious intent.
Each action causing resentment.
The road to hell is paved with self contentment.
I feel a storm I can’t control.
It can’t be described.
Nothing fits into a mold.
I’m the asshole
your parents warned you about
But on the inside
I’m the innocent kid
that can’t go out.
I’m gullible
like how I believed
you’d die
if I leave.
Then when you left
I was close to death
I was suicidal.
You said I was in denial
you had a thought bridal
for a guy
you known for five
then cheated on for six.
I can’t believe in a person
who fights for love like this.
I have thoughts self righteous.
Even good flames will ignite us.
I could be an oasis
in this desert
of immoral places.
Or more like
a Greek gift
causing our rift.
But know
though I’m  a spawn
born from sin and evil
I never once
have been so deceitful.

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October 31st, 2012

With no faith in gaudy demonstrations,
pleasant sounds of exhalation
that took shape with the environment
gave way to contentious thoughts.
I hate things so pretentious.
Reality competing with fantasy.
Pleasantries only when it’s easy.
How could this be
what you claim?
Have you no shame
using immodest words?
We fell into this
when it meant something
on the lips of parents.
We thought we knew the meaning.
A word so close to hate
that they become the same.