I look like the Taino. Who, although I’ve never met, I like to think I do. With dark brown hair that has bad the sun’s fingers brush it as though, it were my lover. My skin is too naturally sweet for many of these other islanders, thus creating that whispered name, “Mud”. Such a contradiction to the name, “Violet”. Though maybe it’s not. Still I look like the Taino. Maybe though, if I looked like Sappho, I’d be more beautiful. But I’m part Atabey, part Prithvi. Beautiful fragrances mixing with my texture so earthly. Yet I don’t look like Sappho so I’m not beautiful. But you never know with an oddity like me. Their idea of beauty is not for what I’m aspiring. So despite my “name”, I have no shame, because I look like the Taino.
I believe in a heaven existing between clear thighs or in golden brown eyes disguised as worldly things to be despised when they are the desires some will expire to possess. Am I wrong? Others know a hell while hiding in silence made from darkness and emptiness after a crispness that that experience each morning since… Doing ‘this’ for reasons that others won’t allow to be present due to their virtuous ignorance. Are they wrong? There is no sanctum. No righteousness but the one we created after being magnets for millions of atoms to collide in a way that we pretend makes sense. We balance on delicate string knowing anything could break them. We are going to the heaven and hell we were sentenced to. There is chance for innocence. Not when secular ‘gods’ rule
Watching my wrists hold an abyss as I dress in darkness with atoms rearranged from our chemistry to become a new me. Thoughts from drinking. Yet I make do. The one thing always dancing in my cerebellum… is you. So… I’m not too overcome by rum to remember good times and then some… Tie tied tight, embracing the night like I might do something right if no one’s watching. Dressed to compress my insides, like a shadow I’m close. Like a shadow with enough light, I’m more of a boast. I only exist with others. And we’ve been dreaming awake. Paralyzed, cause my eyes have seen what we could mean in refusing to be roused. Though in the back drop of us dreaming I fell asleep again. I want to believe that somehow we can be. I grab my suit to dress for the judging society in which we’re living. Then I go to live impossible dreams.
I enter his room Abruptly beginning, “I thought about love and dreams, everything in between, And if you had been with me, You would know what I mean. When I left here I kept noticing how pavement and rubber is so deafening. Roaring in my ear whispering thing I refused to hear. Everything won’t be okay if we keep holding on. Only if we move along We’re sure things are fine. That’s our minds’ eternal sunshine ignoring the dark night, the shadows slinking. I’ve been running so much my dreams couldn’t find me. I’m losing control my soul is only love, drugs, and monotony. I don’t know who I am but I never thought this would be me. I don’t know where I am now but I refuse to continue to be held down.” I ended waiting for what he’d say. Nothing. Then, “Okay.”
How will I sleep if I keep images of you in my head? I took a walk to talk to myself hoping you’d slip my mind long enough to find peace. Yet something triggers memories till endlessly I’m thinking. Velvet skies. So impossible. Vermillion plateaus. Unreachable. Verdant mountains. Unconquerable. My ears burn while scarlet streams roar as I remember whore that can’t compare anymore to your liberty. You are the hill of Aripo. Refusing to be climbed. The untameable wild. The unteachable golden child. Why must you be conquered? So I shall find, by leaving behind clumsy desires creeping through my mind, beauties I can grasp.
Dare all out there. For the rest of the year I will not be putting out any poems or raps. I’m currently working on a short story that will be compiled from poems on here and other ones I have written.
I am also in the process of trying to get publish. WISH ME LUCK!!!!
I’ll be posing entirely regularly every week beginning January 7th, 2014. I am truly sorry for not being so regular as I want to. But I am very happy for the support that has been given up until now. So thank you to everyone that reads my work. I hope to have great work soon.
The problem with driving was surviving the return while in a daze, constantly amazed at life, even though you’re walking a tight rope millions of miles from Earth. But we weren’t close and I found walking difficult. Planning while sober to not get pulled over living in the moment existing in laughter at jokes and sleeping in green pastures that were all all in your head. That’s how these nights tend to go My friends are welcoming enough in that they don’t mind my guest though half the time with her hiding behind me I wonder if they know she exists. I coast from person to person conversing with the few people there and yeah…I would like to skip to the fun part but I can’t seem desperate. She drifts a leash keeping her. As they are starting her and I sit in a circle. My friend passes a cigarette. I take a drag while she quickly passes. The can of soda that she nervously hold may do the job though. Her eyes open to show pupils dilated and my friends know, as one laughs, and she falls on her back as though pushed. i glance at her with a grin then place the tab on my tongue.