A Stranger’s Love (A Shadow’s Lucid Dreams)

Watching my wrists hold an abyss
as I dress in darkness
with atoms rearranged from our chemistry
to become a new me.
Thoughts from drinking.
Yet I make do.
The one thing
always dancing in my cerebellum…
is you. 
So…
I’m not too overcome
by rum to remember good times
and then some…
Tie tied tight, embracing the night
like I might
do something right
if no one’s watching. 
Dressed to compress my insides,
like a shadow 
I’m close. 
Like a shadow
with enough light,
I’m more of a boast. 
I only exist with others.
And we’ve been dreaming awake. 
Paralyzed,
cause my eyes have seen
what we could mean
in refusing to be roused.
Though in the back drop
of us dreaming
I fell asleep again.
I want to believe 
that somehow we can be.
I grab my suit
to dress for the judging society
in which we’re living.
Then I go
to live impossible dreams. 

Lover’s Taboo

I say please. She nods. I feel higher than God.
This isn’t real though I like the facade. And that’s real.
Warm treats cause chills
You complement my body.
Words accompanying my hungry breathing.
After this you tell me you’re leaving.
Our relationship is so deceiving.

I watch her walk away
I like how she struts not sways
With her I want to play.
I wait. With kisses she sedate the thoughts of late.
Sometimes I become afraid when I think
My heart starts to sink.
The taste of pink reassures me though
Her reason for this is physical. Mine emotional
Though I wish feelings mutual.
When I imagine this will stay the fashion
I have feelings that mix.
My mind plays tricks that I can’t fix.
I feel sick knowing I’ll relinquish
this status as she moves on.
Some days she says
I imagine forever here
but I could never call you dear.
She smiles. I feel beguiled. She’s so young
Yet I feel like the child.

As she approaches I reproach such thoughts
Though this seems taboo
Though I know not what to do.
I’m happily depressed with you.